Some of Anubis's shtuff

[animascura]

I thought i should share some of my poetry, and then let you guys tell me how much you hate it, then have me ignore you all, then repeat with a new poem. First one i like, got a reaction out of people, especially my english teacher...reactions, whether good or bad, are a good thing, and mean that i win.

Knife
A Poem
Several times I’d felt the pressure of the blade against my neck. Once again my hand pulled away. Feelings of extreme hatred for the world, for the people around, hatred for myself, rivaled a feeling of guilt, which inspired hesitation to complete the incision the knife would make. It was a hard choice, whether the knife was a release for myself. A form of escaping all the insults and ridicule, all the long evenings at home, confronting abusive parents who threw things at me when I arrived, or randomly beat me for just for being alive. Or just having to stand the torment of their fights, the cruelty of having to watch the world I lived in fall apart. And maybe the knife was a punishment for my failure. Failure to put up with the horrible parents that brought me up. Failure to take the name calling and feeling of uselessness as a sign that I was never good enough. A punishment for having fought back against them this long. All the rage repressed inside of me burst forth as haunting visions from my past resurrected. Memories that had left hate and anger bottled up once I decided not to deal with them. The flood of emotions surging through me, icy waters infused with my greed, jealousy, and need for revenge, brought the blade up to the same place. I felt a sharp pain. Slowly the blood flowed into my mouth, and with its sweet taste came the feeling of escape, and the reassuring calm, that everything was okay.

[darkoneofpower]

I don't know why but I like it. It's good, I can't wait to see some more of your stuff.

[animascura]

Im glad you like it, thx. ^^ I will put more up as soon as i find them. I have a tendency of loosing important things yet somehow the unimportant items are always there cluttering everything.

[pandi]

yes. i liked it too ^^
and of course i'm glad some of it didn't spawn from your own experiences.

[animascura]

Hmm....here is another poem. I recently came across it while cleaning my room. Some of it does not make sense...but it must've at the time i wrote it i guess. *shrug* here it is then.


And, In an Instant,
A child’s memory remembered.
More like a dream, awake
A stroke of fate that sent her,
Tumbling into an abyss, a recess
In his mind where she, a soul, a ghost
Could not escape.
And why? When warm eyes penetrated his façade and pulled the pain from
Under, materialized as tears. Tears that forever
Marked her as a place where sorrow
Gathered and dispelled.
He had lived through life a warrior.
Solemnity, his only curse, was but a gift,
And apathy his friend.
His sorrows grew, so deep inside
And he, the greatest soldier, was,
Not too small a man but, yes, a soul,
Too modest to endure the burden of
His massing demons.
They slithered and escape, nibbled on
His inner peace. Savagely they tore at
The very things that kept him sane, and
Just the same, devoured a conscience that kept him awake
And, in an instant,
A child’s memory remembered
More like a dream, awake
But far too late, that brought her love to him again.
A drop of rain, a man insane, a mother
For which tears remained and sorrows,
Left his eyes and shattered on a cold floor.
He wondered how it was that she would still come back and, in him, be
The only one, in 20 years, in his entire lifetime.
She made despair dispel and told a tale, and then he knew, she was the one, the only
One, a lonely one, who even now beyond
The grave, still brought him love.
The demons left, a sea of red, a crimson
River that took with it life and
Welcomed death. He stopped both eyes, still
Saw her face. With a scowl would come
Shame, but a smile pierced his heart, his
Tattered soul. And even now, to grieve into the grave
With tears, behind a grave. She gave him love.


o.o

[darkoneofpower]

this is nicely written too though I must say I am slightly lost also. Yet even some meaning forgotten can be real great. Keep them coming. I can't wait for more. Thanks

[animascura]

I am saddenned <--(me)
I had this amazing poem (or so my inflated ego and false sense of self worth told so) and the only copy i had was one i had printed out. After time it became tattered and torn, and when i found it, part of the page had disintegrated. I look frantically for another copy, via electronic means or a physicall one, but alas, it was to no avail. I tried reconstructing it as best i remember, but it is no where near as good as the original Anyways, here it is.

Memories
Her face Haunted and tease today, as yesterday, as ever.
Icy blue eyes embedded into a cold slate of marble.
A kind face no longer warm, yet still inviting.
Laughs muffled by stone impervious to all, but him.
Her face faded away, a quiet smile lingered patiently
Soon dissipated.
A ghastly reflection that threatened to leave.

An she was gone
A child's face that stared with such inocence.
She was holding tight, and still, he smiled.
He looked into here eyes and knew, he was the only thing holding her back.
Her cold gaze penetrated deep into every bone,
Shivers danced beneath his skin, playing a taunting game.
He knew his smile was the only thing holding her back, his faltering smile.
A warm tear, that turned into a cold sob.
She closed her eyes, her hand went limp, he wished to move away.
But still he held and tried, harder than he had ever wished before, to hold on.
She lay before him a moment ago, and was here now.
He didnt notice the men in white moving away,
Or the monotone melody that once was fueled
Bye her heart, and now remeined a melancholy note.
He just saw her smile.

The same smile that now ent away. He cried,

And she was gone.
He had failed her again,
Once she danced in flesh full of life,
And now she lingered, shallo wkin
Painted with the pain dreamt up by memories

Her face haunted today, as yesterday, as ever.
Icy blie eyes embedded into a cold slate of marble.
A kind face, no longer warm, yet still inviting.
Laughs muffled by stone impervious to all, but him.
Her face faded away, a quiet smile lingered patiently
And the cold left with her dissipating face.
And she was gone, yet,
Kept alive by simple Memories
She was still here.

[godsrighthand]

Dayum, this is some gooood shit for a messican!!

[animascura]

So i think i figured out what it was about.

::instructs members to enter this thread and read my second poem that i posted (bright green letters)::

Read it yet>?

Like i said i wrote this forever ago and it probably made a lot of sense at the time, but i've re-read it and pondered and maybe i'm coming back to my conclusion, and maybe not.

I think this is the story of a man who lost his mother. I think that's the obvious part seeing "A drop of rain, a man insane, a mother
For which tears remained "

I think that some tragedy occured where he lost his mother, and throughout his life he hadn't been ...kind to her. He didn't tell her that he loved or let her know that he appreciated all that she did for him. So when she died he held a burden knowing that she left without him telling her all of that. And throughout his life she pulled him through the tough times.
This poem is /i think/ describing the day that, upon his death, he finally realized that inspite of his silence, she knew that he loved her the way she loved him, and was not angry at him at all or sad upon her own death. Something like that...maybe? does it make sense?
Pehaps you guys can find a different interpretation of what i meant cause i honestly don't remember 100%

[animascura]

Since this site seems to be dead...This thread has now become my online portfolio. I will direct anyone to this thread directly whenever i wish to share my emo ^^

[animascura]

And so it falls
But No onehears
The echoing sounds
Of sadness bouncing off
The lonely walls
As darkness falls
The evening hours
fade away
A quiet moment
Sitting still and
watchful eyes
are staring still
At stars that duck
and weave amongst
the clouds hiding
and seen.
Precipitate a judgement
And a sentence gives
me purpose in a
Life so filled
with dreary thoughts
unoccupied by time
Instilling doubts and
bring back fears
of once upon a time
She gave me hope
and slipped beneath
my feet her soul
A monument on top
and then she slipped
And so it falls
But no one hears
The echoing ........

[animascura]

This is a poem i wrote after experiencing something.....maybe halfway towards a nervous breakdown.
And how do i get rid of my angst and frustration and sadness? I write.
This one, if i may be so bold and conceited as to assume, wasn't too bad.
Enjoy,

A crystal butterfly landing on
A silver Tree. Slowly dancing down
the crystal stairs leaves form as they play
among the wind. It hums, Requiem
of dreams. It drums, Melancholy beat
To which slaves; chained to their commands;
they row, sounding off the cues
For my frail butterfly. To follow
Step by step and, Take it slowly.
Reach the top. Not with agility, or skill
they stop. The only way to get there:
Time. My butterfly, too fast, you fall
Your fingers reach, but cannot seem to
grab ahold of anything that's sane
And so you hit, crystal on crystal
Breaking fast, like liquid falling
On the steel, the silver breaking glass
and spreading you, my butterfly of
fragments piercing everything around
And building pressure, I grow dizzy
trying to catch the pieces as they fall
and piecing back together something
Did not quite exist before. Silver
Tree breaks glass. Don't know what's going on.
You cannot breathe. Asphyxiated
Butterfly, you cannot sing a song
Or flap a crystal wing so shattered.
Close your eyes and breathe, a tiny lump
That leaves your throat seems monolithic.
Open up your hand and let me grab
My butterfly again. Set it down.
Upon a silver tree
So it can find
A crystal leaf

[animascura]

"I need"



Sleep
and help
Some Peace
Some health
Need hapiness to
Find itself
Must replace books
Upon their shelves
Need quiet whispers
in the night
Need lullaby
A soft gray light
I need a spell that makes it right
Some incantation, solve my plight.
Need potions that can cure the dead
And raise the sick within my head.
I need A feeling, complete loss
For when i lie in bed and toss
So taciturn a scream i hear
I need some Peace and quiet here.
I need somone to lend an ear
And comfort me, old friend held dear
Need closed eyes
And hollow sounds
To pierce the silence all around
Need nothing that i cannot get
Lest it be followed by regret.
Need nothing you can give me still
Unless my demons you can kill.
Need comfort, solace, everything
Need nothing more, and not a thing
Need pain, need fear, and dissonance
Need nothing less, So it makes sense
That i need nothing that i have.
Need nothing that i cannot grab.
Need nothing that's within my reach.
Have nothing, and it's all i need.